Don’t Date The Girl You Just Met At A Club

I know this Valentine’s Day Special is all about broadening your horizons, dating people you wouldn’t usually consider. I’m just saying that if you would like to meet a girl whom you can have a long-term relationship with, that girl you just met at a club may not be as suitable a candidate, no matter how hot she is.

Disclaimers first: Firstly, I must stress that dating here refers to long-term relationships. In other words, if you’re looking for a girl whom you can bring home to meet your parents, then that girl you just met may not quite be The One. Like the post “Date a guy who works late“, this post is directed at guys but the broad principles are applicable to girls thinking of dating a guy that they met at a club.

If you are looking for short-term flings, that’s a different story all together.

Secondly, I do not mean, “Don’t Date Girls Who Club”. It’s starkly different from “Don’t Date The Girl You Just Met At A Club”. Essentially, the first point of contact differs. For the former, if you had known her say through a mutual friend, and got to know that she clubs, that’s fine. All I’m saying is that, don’t go to clubs expecting to find a life partner there.

Therefore, if you’re single and are thinking of spending a Single Valentine’s Day Night at a club, hoping to bump into The Wife, I suggest you think again. Just putting it out there, but I think there are way better venues to meet The Wife. Think bars, pubs, the homes of mutual friends, restaurants, Starbucks, parks and even libraries. I just wouldn’t recommend clubs. And here’s why:

1. Don’t date the girl you just met at a club because the disco ball, laser lights and shadows will do nothing to help you get a clear view of her face. 

There are girls who are known to put on layers and layers of make-up when they club. There is no guarantee that the girl who you thought was hot last night is going to look as hot in broad daylight, when sun rays are streaming down her face. If looks is a very important aspect of a potential girlfriend and The Wife, can you handle the truth?

2. Don’t date the girl you just met at a club because the music is so loud, you’ll never get to have a proper conversation. Texting/ Sexting is not encouraged. 

If you could have a proper conversation in a club, then I’d say the DJ is not doing his job. The point is, if you don’t have a conversation with the girl during your first meeting, you wouldn’t know how intelligent she is. One’s flirting ability is not correlated to one’s intelligence. I suppose it’s possible to flirt for a week, or months even. But all relationships need a balance, and you are never going to feel complete if a girl doesn’t satisfy you intellectually.

3. Don’t date the girl you just met at a club because alcohol has dimmed your senses and…

Girls who appeared hot that night, are not. Either that, you’ll find some immense courage to trot over and talk to the girl you have been eyeing on for the longest time. In an unfortunate situation, you may overwhelm her with your courage (Asian girls then to be a bit reserved) and you’ll go from “stranger” to “someone-that-she’ll-never-want-to-see-again” in a matter of minutes.

4. Don’t date the girl you just met at a club because most of the good-looking, decent girls are usually cordoned off by bodyguards (eg. protective male friends)

It’s true, but I think decent girls who club do so with the sole purpose of dancing and having a good time. Getting picked up is the least of their priorities, especially if they are already popular in their non-club lives. Most decent girls with substantial girlfriend material are there just to enjoy themselves and chances are, most are already taken.

For girls, the decent, responsible guys would be busy looking after their tipsy female friends. It’s very unlikely that they will have time to check you out, much less squeeze out a superb pick-up line to win you over. #truestory

5. Don’t date the girl you just met at a club because it’s better to think with your head, and not with some other body part (like your heart) 

I would refrain from going into the specifics as this is a family friendly blog. I’ll just like to point out that the club environment is lust-inducing, and that may impair your judgement when it comes to selecting a potential date. Just remember – It’s easier for an intelligent girl to be hot, than a hot girl to be intelligent. You may start thinking twice when that hot girl you have been texting starts sending a couple of messages with grammatical errors..

6. Don’t date the girl you just met at a club because since time immemorial, the old adage has always been true – “What happens in a club, ends in a club”

Yes, there may be lots of flirting going on, but when it’s time to go home, Go Home. And toss away her number. I know it’s heartless, but if fate will allow it, you’ll end up meeting each other again on the bus, bar or restaurant, just not in the club. A friend recounted that he once enjoyed the company of a girl in the club very much, but it felt vastly different after they met up several times on non-clubbing occasions.

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My point is, it’s perfectly fine to date a guy or a girl who clubs. I’m sure there are hundreds of couples in this world who met at clubs, got married and are happy. But these are rare.

Essentially, you’ve got to use a different modus operandi if you’re looking for a life partner this Valentine’s Day. Try unique places like a quiet bar downtown, or just hang out with friends at a cafe. You’ll be surprised.

What makes a guy attractive isn’t the type of cologne he wears, the high-end clubs he goes to or the “cool” bunch of friends he hangs out with. It’s a demonstration of maturity, confidence and a good heart, are these are traits that are difficult to unravel in clubs.

Here’s wishing you good luck this coming Valentine’s Day. There’s still time to change your plans, if need be ; )