When I first opened my eyes on 1 Jan 2015, I knew it would be a year like no other.
It wasn’t a year like the others, where I had some idea of where I was going or what I would like to achieve. In school, it was pretty straight forward. Pass that exam, sign up for the best school my results could possibly squeeze an entry into. Secure that internship, apply for jobs, go for job interviews.
The end of 2014 had left a great deal of uncertainty in my life and I was hoping that 2015 could shed a little bit more light on that. I tried looking into the future, but all I could see was swirl of blur.
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When I was younger, I loved to dream about the future. In my teens, instead of working hard on those assessment books, my thoughts always shifted to that of meeting and marrying a rich guy, like those lucky girls in Taiwanese dramas, think Meteor Garden (流星花园). When I was in university, I dreamt that I would be a super busy C-level executive flying to and fro for business trips.
(Both dreams have yet to materialise and they’re on the back-burner because of other more important dreams.)
But what is common with dreams of the past and today is that I realised I spent a large amount of time thinking about the future. What I envision myself to be when I grow up. I’m a wine-glass-half-full sort of person, therefore these dreams tend to be positive and leave me smiling happily to myself.
I know that one of the responsibilities of a maturing adult is to make plans. For yourself, for the people around you and for the people who will eventually depend on you. But before I evolve into a Takashimaya-household-item-buying matured adult with a sack of responsibilities on her shoulders, I’ll like to take a year to enjoy the present.
I came across a Sunday Times commentary which discussed the need to enjoy the present. The article said that while there is ‘no running away from fast-paced life’, it is important to ‘cherish the here and now’.
If I could describe my life in 2014, it was a rush of blur.
Looking back, I was always rushing. Rushing to catch the 8.15am train in the morning to go to work, rushing to do errands during lunchtime, rushing home to write my blogposts and rushing out to meet friends.
Even during my travels – it was about rushing to shop, rushing to cover that XX number of scenic sights. I’ll be honest and admit that I’ve never tried to enjoy most glasses of wine I had in my hands. It was usually gulped down with the hope of an alcohol high.
So I’ve decided that in 2015, I’ll do my best to savour the moments. During my weekly runs, I’ll try to appreciate the glowing tree-lights from Gardens By The Bay and the failed attempts of lovers attempting to fly kites from Marina Barrage (haha). I’ll also put a little more thought process into the blogposts and make a point to write less judgmental or sensational topics – but rather, to present a balanced perspective. As for the appreciation of coffee and wine, it will be left to the company of friends.
I wouldn’t avoid more responsibilities or tasks that keep me busy, because they are part of my personal development. But for 2015, I would like to dream less of the future and spend the present wholeheartedly immersed in the people and things around me.
As the ST commentary puts it – it is tough, ‘trying to be less busy, given the many ineluctable challenges, professional and personal, that we will all have to take on, and live up to, willy-nilly.
Rather, the aim is not to allow all that inevitable busyness to get in the way of savouring the moment that is here now, and will be gone before you know it.’